When things go wrong with the mind, there is a tendency to demonize or to romanticize it. I never understood enough to know that there was anything to demonize or to romanticize and I couldn’t even get that people were demonizing it. I know that I am no JOB and myself in need of grace of mercy, I cannot feel this anger at the medical system that in the words of my last girlfriend who was convinced that I was autistic, said “The medical system let you down, Luka. I’m sorry.” My first somewhat successful job after the coma time, came teaching ESL. The fact my students were from a different culture and did not understand language much, was a huge help. I was basically alone, free of those moments that I would get sensory overload or lose context due to lag time in understanding. I also felt their marginalization feelings on a gutt level. But when our “side by side” textbook had me modeling the dialogue “this is my brother” or How many people are in your family? I had to leave the room and I cried hysterically alone- not knowing why. Later I figured it. a Salvadorean student who was very intuitive told me to come visit and she spoke of my “soul injury”. The fact I remember her saying this 23 years later. Teacher I’m sorry something happened to you. You are a very noble man, and it’s ok. Tell me about your family. Where are they? Ok teacher don’t answer, it’s ok.
In 1991, I suffered a brain injury. It showed itself in a variety of ways- and baffled everyone including myself. In the following entries it is my hope that we as a people, might respect those with differences and realize that we don't know the full story. It is written also with our soldiers in mind, coming home with injuries that are misunderstood and brain injuries/ptsd that cause unnecessary suffering and to isolation. It is written for those with autistic traits who are shunned by their peers. It is written for stroke victims who have no more voice in society and the people who do not take the time, to listen. It is written to all with invisible injuries that go discounted, dismissed and discarded. Peace. View all posts by firstfloorluka